I may not now be so easy on the eyes
with my chestnut locks toppled
but the velvet clearcut
that runs the length of my skull
feels so fine under my fingers
I spent another night in that old familiar hallway.
I spent another night wrapped in blue
and writhing curled on my cot
until they finally dripped a little relief down my arm
and into my belly.
I spent another holiday being folded into the machines
and being dissected by lights
and being entered into charts
and waiting
I got wheeled through another foyer
filled with the aches and groans and tears
and gashes and boredom
and I got wheeled back again.
I spent another cold morning
set free and hobbling in the crisp sunlight
up the road and wondering if anything would ever change for me.
I spent another night
doubled on my bed
rising in and out of the familiar intoxication
like a child with a pharmaceutical rattle
I took thanksgiving with friends
and I harvested my crown
I may not now be so easy on the eyes
but I feel right to my fingers
